Teacher Student Sex Scandals Investigated – This Could Be Your Child’s School

As a grandparent of four school-age children and a professional, who has thirty-three years experience in sexual child abuse prevention and recovery, and author, “If I’d Only Known….Sexual Abuse In or Out of The Family: A Guide To Prevention,” I am angry and disappointed that the news report, “Teacher-Student Sex Scandals Investigated, Districts Should Limit Off-Campus Contact Between Teachers, Students, Experts Say,” on CBS Channel 5, Phoenix, AZ, May 20, 2009 reported the standard laundry list of misinformation and distortion of sex offender modus operandi. Furthermore, there were NO concrete strategies offered to parents and teachers to protect children from this heinous crime that is all too often committed against children.

My grandchildren are a few of the prepared ones, because they have been educated about protecting themselves from would-be sex offenders. Who better to protect him/herself than the would-be target of this crime, since it is perpetrated in secret? Children, as young as two-years-old, can be taught techniques to ward off a sex offender. There are seven compelling parent-approved and child-tested techniques parents, teachers and children can learn to thwart the majority of would-be sex offenders. Teaching children the techniques of sexual abuse prevention does not require sex education or details about how they might be harmed.

The opening statement of this report began a litany of misinformation-”Dozens of Arizona teachers are accused of having inappropriate or illegal relationships with students each year,…” Using the quantifying term, ‘Dozens,’ implies, the total count is low, when, in fact, 104 cases of teacher sexual abuse were reported in Phoenix metro in the past four years. Not to mention that many teacher sexual child abuse incidents go unreported every year.

Such terms as: ‘relationship,’ ‘dating,’ [a fifteen-year-old child "...was allegedly dating one of her teachers,"] ‘romance’ and ‘romantic,’ implies the student and teacher have equal say in negotiating the terms of a ‘relationship.’ The opposite is true. Teacher sex offenders rely on their easy access to children and a trusting bond of authority to get what they want-sexual contact with children. Children are taught and rewarded for being respectful of teachers and authority. This fact, alone, disarms the child and gives the child a false sense of security with a would-be sex offender teacher-’Respect your teacher, my teacher is nice-he/she would never harm me.’ Thus, the child is easily conned, duped, tricked, seduced, coerced and threatened if she/he tells. “The trust of the innocent is the liar’s most useful tool.” Stephen King

Even more disturbing is the statement by Superior Court Judge Paul Katz, “A teacher should never become romantically involved with a student, period … Even if it ultimately works out, that is crappy judgment.” The philosophy that ‘…even if it ultimately works out…,’ not only minimizes the damage the child endured and the egregious act of the teacher, the child’s life has been altered immeasurably. And without effective and specific sexual abuse recovery, the child comes into adulthood with severe emotional and mental damage and often times suffer from the aftereffects their entire life. More often than not, the dots between the sexual child abuse and their emotional and physical symptoms are not connected.

As to possible strategies to prevent teacher sexual child abuse the only suggestion offered was presented by State Superintendent Tom Horne, “Some school districts, such as Paradise Valley School District, already have specific guidelines regarding contact between teachers and students outside the classroom.” This measure will no doubt prevent a few children from being victimized. However, is this what we want for our children-protection from a few of the would-be teacher sex offenders? What does ‘outside the classroom’ mean? What about in the hall, gym, or on the play ground? These areas are outside the classroom. What are the rules about these locations, where children are frequently sexually abused?

It is not uncommon for gym teachers to ‘cop a feel,’ in the gym while assisting a student. ‘Copping a feel,’ is as damaging as genital touching or caressing. If you disbelieve this statement come and sit in my office for a week and you will hear the pain and anguish from those, who were ‘only groped.’ Furthermore, many students are sexually abused IN the classroom or IN the utility closet IN the classroom.

Horne stated, even if he had the power, he doesn’t think it’s a good idea to make it more difficult for teachers to develop healthy relationships with students. Mr. Horne is being short sighted and irresponsible to children when he uses the flimsy rationale that it isn’t a good idea to make it more difficult for teachers to develop healthy relationships with students, because many children have been helped by teachers, who have taken interest in and become a role model for students.

There is a huge difference between developing a healthy relationship with students and grooming a child for sexual purposes. There are many behaviors and statements sex offenders make that telegraph their intention. The reasons sex offenders make veiled statements as to their intentions is to access the awareness of those, who could ‘report’ their unacceptable intent with a child. If their statements go unrecognized, they then feel confident their grooming actions will be undetected and never reported by anyone, including the child. Once the child has been desensitized and accepts the ‘special attention,’ the sex offender gradually escalates the intensity and nature of sexual activity.

If one knows the behaviors and the statements, it is relatively easy to identify a would-be sex offender. These behaviors are classic and consistent with sex offenders. All adults need to be educated on these behaviors and statements. Then, what?

It is appropriate then, for teachers and administrators to be alerted to this fact and everyone, as appropriate, shadows the teacher to prevent any opportunity for the teacher to target and groom a student. Surprisingly, the teacher may suspect or know he/she is being shadowed and as a result their suspicion or knowledge will compel the teacher to further telegraph their intention and thus, they are ‘caught’ before the damage can be done. Once their intentions and behavior has moved to a grooming stage, the behavior can be reported to authorities and processed accordingly. “Power is no blessing in itself, except when it is used to protect the innocent.” Jonathan Swift

If the protocol for being alert to sex offender behavior and their statements are followed, there is NO impingement on teachers, who have the intent to develop a healthy student/teacher relationship.

Adult ADHD – ADD – How to Cope!

Adult ADHD. When I told my friend, Andrew, that I had adult ADHD, he was quite surprised. He thought that I would be hyperactive, loud, with unlimited energy and no control over my impulses. Without sounding too patronizing, I told him that what he had in mind was child, which I wasn’t.

I then realized that many people did not know anything about adult ADHD because it is often mistaken for a disorder that only kids get. Although true to a certain extent, but most kids do not grow out of the disorder and it then tends to manifest itself no too far in the future. With years of dealing with this problem, I have realized that my symptoms have only gotten worse as I grew into adulthood. I suppose this is basically because of all the pressures of adult life. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child.

Just like me, there are thousands of adults with this problem. Each day for us is a struggle where we have to control ourselves, keep our attention on the tasks at hand and keep a strict watch on our emotions. I have had troubled staying focused, being organized, managing my time and money, and remembering to do all the daily tasks. However, I have a very supportive family so it is much easier for me to deal with adult ADHD compared to all the other adults who do not have the necessary support.

I was lucky that I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was a child. The same cannot be said for so many adults who are out there. Trust me when I say that living with adult ADHD is total chaos; and living with undiagnosed adult AHDH can be a living hell. A person would be constantly stressed out about missing deadlines and forgetting appointments. In addition, the person would end up aggravating his friends and family who would think of them as an under-achiever. All this leads to self-blame.

Unfortunately, there is lack of information where adult ADHD is concerned. Most of the literature that I have found deals with children aged 2 to 12. And the saddest part is the most of these children will ultimately grow up to have adult ADHD. And most adults do not know where to go to get information on ADHD. Personally I think that adults suffering from adult ADHD do not want to be treated for this disorder because of conflicting reports that are available. In addition, there is a stigma attached when an adult seeks help and treatment. This makes adult ADHD sufferers to brush their problem under the carpet and pretend that it does not exist. I think if I had taken this route, I would not be leading such a fulfilling life.

I am not ashamed at my condition, and I try to educate and help other adults with attention deficit disorder. However, in order to combat this disorder, the adult himself has to take the first step in getting the disorder treated. For me the first step was accepting that I had a problem and then the treatment for adult ADHD became a lot easier.

Adult Business Woes: The Problems of Setting up an Adult Content Site

As with any other business, the adult industry is not without its problems. Beginnings are always tough for any new endeavor. If you plan on starting your own adult site, you may want to consider the following problems that new adult merchants encounter.

1.The ever-tightening law belt against adult-related content – Law enforcement agencies have knuckled down on protecting younger Internet users from exposure to content deemed immoral. Some laws have also been laid down for what’s good for consumption of the general public and what’s not. For instance, the Child Online Protection Act of 1998 makes it illegal for adult site owners to post child pornography, at least in the United States. While the existing laws may not necessarily be able to cover your particular brand of adult content, it cannot be denied that it has had a certain ripple effect throughout the industry. One way to deal with this hindrance to success is simply to know what’s legal and what’s not. Do not risk limiting your goods and services to a genre that may be banned in countries that are major target markets.

2.Hosting limitations – Most web hosts have a contingency against adult-related sites, mostly because they don’t want adult material on their servers. Two other things that go against adult website operators in this context is their demand for high bandwidth and disk space to cover the site’s high traffic, high volume streaming and media-rich content. If you are looking for a host, make sure to get one that will be able to cover both requirements. While some mainstream hosts are willing to work with adult site owners, they may not understand the business as in depth as an industry-specific host could.

3.Difficulty in acquiring an adult merchant account – Perhaps the toughest problem to overcome, acquiring a merchant account can be a time-consuming and difficult process for the adult merchant. First among the things to contend with would be the killer rates. As adult businesses are considered high risk account, they are often subjected to sky-high fees. The best solution to this problem would be to find a payment processor catering specifically to the adult industry. One example would be AdultMerchantPay. This particular online payment processor offers low-cost accounts with no upfront fees. An adult merchant account service provider would also understand the need of the adult merchant for optimum security and should be able to provide this with an advance technology payment gateway.

4.Lack of compelling content available- Webmasters of adult sites are always looking for something fresh and something new. While many sites offer good content, what you should be looking for in a supplier is: 1) variety; 2) original content; and 3) the legal stuff. As previously mentioned, not all content is deemed legal. So aside from looking for the good stuff, make sure you are dealing with the legal ones as well.

5.Market satiated with free products and services – To say that the competition in the adult world is tight is an understatement. There are hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of adult content websites out there. Why should the average consumer pay for your services and goods when a glut of free online adult entertainment content can easily be accessed online? The answer to this problem may be less complex than you think. Offer a service that is different from what everyone else out there has. Focusing on your own niche is the best way to get your audience to be loyal subscribers.

One thing to remember when starting an adult site: With the right mix of marketing savvy, great content and old-fashioned hard work, your adult website can, and most likely will, succeed. While other entertainment businesses may suffer from an economic roller coaster, the adult industry will feel nary a sting from the ups and downs of a country’s financial state. The reason is obvious, access to online adult content is easier to acquire than any other entertainment venue (say movies, plays or fine dining). Adult sites are only a click away and subscriptions to a site will last longer than what a consumer gets when paying for dinner and a movie.

Aside from having accessibility on its side, the probability of its success is also driven by the consistently high demand for adult-related material. Thousands of subscribers keep the industry afloat by continuing to pay big bucks on a recurring basis. So make sure you have original, eye-popping content that is within the legal boundaries of your target market. Get a host that can cater to your specific needs and an adult merchant account provider that will ensure you get paid for all your troubles.

Adults With a New Diagnosis of ADHD

Many adults diagnosed with ADHD will not have had a formal diagnosis of ADHD as children. What this means from a practical standpoint is that they will have to learn how to manage their symptoms without having had any previous training in ADHD symptom management.

Newly diagnosed adults with ADHD face life challenges that are very different form the challenges faced by their younger ADHD cohorts. ADHD Adults, who may have previously depended on parents for support performing their activities of daily living, must learn, on their own, how to best organize their day-to-day tasks. These adults are often learning to negotiate other challenges as well such as how to navigate relationships, how to succeed with the demands of higher education, and how to succeed in their careers.

This is a tall order for people whose ADHD symptoms have gone unrecognized or untreated. For some adults with ADHD the ADHD symptoms have been present for a long time but the symptoms did not become a major impairment because of the support of parents or other family members.

These adults with ADHD will need to learn new life skills in order to manage their symptoms. Most ADHD adults will also likely need medical intervention. Psychological coaching, medication, cognitive training and EEG biofeedback have all proved useful in the management of adults with ADHD.

So where do you start if you are an adult newly diagnosed with ADHD? Your first stop should probably be the container store. No kidding!! Organizing your personal space will go a long way to moving forward on more lofty goals. Enlist the help of a relative or friend to help get you started but be careful to not allow your relatives or friends take over the job of ‘organizing’ you. You must learn to carry out these organizational tasks on your own.

A common problem that I have seen in adults with ADHD occurs when the ADHD adult has a partner, spouse, parent, or friend who enables the ADHD adult to continue to be disorganized and unproductive. The partner or friend continuously ‘helps’ the adult with ADHD by continually performing for the ADHD adult the household and life tasks that the ADHD adult should be doing for himself or herself.

Inevitably the partner ends up resenting the one sided arrangement and the relationship ends up in ruin. If you find that you have a pattern of surrounding yourself with people who do things for you, it may be necessary for you to get professional help from a counselor and coach in order to get you on your way to learning how to navigate your life tasks on your own.

Finding the right job is important for all adults but for adults with ADHD some jobs are a better match than others. In general jobs that require repetitive tasks will be problematic for adults with ADHD. Jobs that require that you sit still for long periods are also a poor choice. Jobs such as firefighting, police work, paramedic work, waitressing, ER physician, Tour Guide, or teacher are probably better jobs than jobs in computer programming, bookkeeping, or accounting.

Finding the right spouse or partner is as important in life as finding the right job. The best partners for adults with ADHD are patient and can tolerate a bit of disorganization but do not enable to adult to stay perpetually disorganized. Good partners encourage, motivate, and help Adults with ADHD to complete their tasks and provide the necessary love and support to empower the ADHD adult to succeed.

The most important goal for a newly diagnosed adult with ADHD involves finding the medical and personal support that will facilitate their:

Learning to organize your life
Picking the right life partner of spouse, and
Choosing the correct career.

Once the appropriate support is in place and these three areas are addressed, the life of Adults newly diagnosed with ADHD will be much more manageable.

Asians – The Asian Woman

On this planet are billions of people yet the most intriguing are the Asians… the Asian females to get more accurate! Their looks is at least for me personally too much to handle; their long, dark locks, dark eyes, tiny body… they’ve got components that really help them get and stay forever inside the mind of each and every guy as well as of countless girls coming from around the world. For those who haven’t had the joy of meeting such a woman head to head, definitely you saw hundreds on TV and also on the net.

Across the world are dozens of extremely popular Asian girls which stand for the erotic dream of countless men and women. The movies in which they star are generally rich in action… however that form of action not too many folks can think about. First of all, the physical look of Asian ladies is overwhelming – I shortly explained it above too however I need to add more about their body. I never saw a girl having such a dark-colored and also lengthy hair, tight body, incomprehensible eyes, kissable lips, fluffy and darkish skin tone – I’m an American lady that can’t disregard the sex attractiveness Asians have got.

Their little, tight physique is undoubtedly in the minds of numerous guys from each and every corner of the globe, this being the key reason why free porn movies in which these people star, hold the very first spots of the tastes of the people which access the hosting websites. We are all aware that the free porn industry is these days at it’s greatest stage and it could grow a whole lot larger – more than we could ever imagine! Asians that act in free porn videos are viewed like globally superstars and additionally role-models for many people. There’s no doubt that the main reason why many men and women check out these movies is because they are really curious to see how Asians look undressed, how they have intercourse, how big their own sex attraction is. The truth is that I viewed some free porn videos and how they acted was amazing… and I’m not making any reference to the love-making act.

The one thing which blew me off was the way they were looking naked, how they were shifting slowly and gradually as well as gentle within the room, just how their black eyes were shutting down every time they were fired up… it might seem a bit unusual, but the feelings which i got only from viewing free porn films in which Asians featured in were fantastic and as much as I would like to, I can’t come across any terms to describe it.

The “Sex Sells” Syndrome in American Business!

Male-created religious doctrines designed to control the sexual behavior of females have had results the founders probably could not have imagined in their own time-or if they did recognize them they chose to ignore them for a variety of reasons.

One of the most disastrous of the measures imposed upon both men and women but especially women was limiting sexual behavior to the point that most individuals spent much of their lives in a state of sexual frustration caused by a build-up of sexual energy that could not be expended.

Until contemporary times even masturbation, especially by males, was regarded as a major sin against God and was punished by a variety of means, including things that were demeaning and often cruel. [One Bible author says it is better for a male to leave his seed in the belly of a whore than to masturbate!]

The results of this misunderstanding and misuse of human sexuality included both emotional and physical ailments that still today continue plague much of mankind…and historically have also resulted in thriving prostitution industries in most countries. [It is just now finally being recognized by a few "experts" that unused sexual energy in males is responsible for much of the violence in societies.]

When education and other forms of enlightenment began to loosen some of the religious restraints on sexual attitudes and behavior in the United States, businessmen were quick to pick up on and exploit the area of human sexuality that was the most abused, most constrained-and that, of course, was female sexuality.

Advertisements began to feature attractive women in seductive poses and various states of undress. By the 1950s most marketing programs in the country were based on the appeal of female sexuality. And in the following decades female sexuality-related ads began to appear in Japan and other Asian countries.

Well before the end of the 20th century the level of sexuality portrayed in American advertisements of all kinds and in every medium had reached the level of soft pornography. By the beginning of the 21st century many marketing programs had reached the level of semi-hard porn to attract attention to products…and hard-core porn had become a staple of movies and television shows.

Another fallout from the misunderstanding and misuse of human sexuality is the declining custom of marriage and the increase in children born out of wedlock…both of which have a powerful, negative effect on the stability of societies and the quality of life.

This sexual revolution-again caused by the mostly well-intentioned attempts of religious doctrines to limit sexual behavior and channel it into narrow confines-is still in its early stages. Where and how far it will go remains to be seen.